33. "In Reflection", Individual Will versus Divine Will and Surrender

“I have only one desire now: to do God’s will for me. There is no conflict. When God guides me to walk a pilgrimage I do it gladly. When God guides me to do other things I do them just as gladly. If what I do brings criticism upon me I take it with head unbowed. If what I do brings me praise I pass it immediately along to God, for I am only the instrument through which God does the work. When God guides me to do something I am given strength, I am given supply, I am shown the way. I am given the words to speak. Whether the path is easy or hard I walk in the light of God’s love and peace and joy, and I turn to God with psalms of thanksgiving and praise. This it is to know God. And knowing God is not reserved for the great ones. It is for little folks like you and me. God is always seeking you—every one of you."
~Peace Pilgrim

Not my will but Thy will my Lord, not my will but Thine. Please help me to accept Thy will completely, to merge myself into Thy will, for in this world it is Thy will which is ever done, not mine.

In the chapter entitled “Making Choices” we talked about self-effort, free will, and now I write here that in this world it is always God’s will that is done. How can this be? Truly this is straightforward although it may seem paradoxical.

Our individual effort, our will, is not separate from God’s will; it is rather a subset of God’s will. We think that we are alone; we think that we need to do everything, and as long as we think this… we do. We think we do that is; but ultimately it is God who is directing this world play and we cannot be separate from God’s will. God is the puppet master expertly twirling the strings and we (what we think ourselves to be) are the wooden puppets gyrating upon the stage. Inexorably the strings are pulled in order to call us back, to provide us with the unique experiences that we need in order to desire ultimate Truth instead of falsehood, to see through our conditioned worldview and to seek the “Kingdom of God” inside. We are invariably given what we strive for, whatever it is, but this attainment is of dual purpose. It is a fulfillment of our will and of God’s. It fulfills ours because we strove for it and now we have it; it fulfills God’s will because once we have it we are on our way to learning it is not what we really wanted after all. In this way we are led inward.

As long as we do not see the one Truth behind the play self-effort is required. Until we surrender fully we must exert. Without self-effort nothing is possible; with self-effort anything is possible. The ultimate success is assured with continuous properly focused self-effort. We may choose to sleep; but nothing is accomplished in sleep. We may pray to a “God” to do our bidding for us but that “God” that we visualize as doing our bidding does not exist. We are the ones that must come around, not God. We must self exert in order to purify and prepare a proper instrument; we must come in to alignment with the highest light which is in us. We must surrender “me”. Then, and only then, can we find home.

In this surrender lies complete freedom. This is what Peace Pilgrim knew. She walked 28 years with only a comb, a toothbrush and a pen. She did this because she knew that she needed carry nothing; this was her understanding and her faith. Many would call her crazy and others brave, yet she knew that she needed nothing and this knowledge gave her not just peace but it also made her free. She was free to walk, to pray, to advise. Free to do God’s will, free to be her Self, free of any cares or worries, free of all of the baggage that we carry with us in this world.

This is what God wants for us, it is always about this. Through attachment to God we know absolute and complete freedom from all of the worldly cycles. When we drop all that we carry we are carried by God alone. 

Many of us ask, “what is God’s will for me?” “Does God want me to be married, to have children, to be wealthy and successful?” “Is God’s will for me to live here, or some other place?” The answer is simply that God’s will for us is to know God! God’s will is for us to know of our union with God, to know ourselves as Spirit, to know that all is fine. God wants us to be home. The material things are all fool’s gold; there is nothing permanent, nothing of value in them. Nothing. This life is and has always been about finding (remembering) our great Self and being That. All that matters is spiritual pursuit. The spiritual life is the only real life; it leads to the only reality and the only happiness that lasts.

Once we have come into alignment and our surrender is complete there is no longer a question of difference between God’s will and our will. With perfect surrender comes life as a perfect instrument of the Love Divine.

The great teachers inspire us to cultivate the divine qualities and to drop the negative qualities centered around the ego self and our personal desires for this reason. When we cultivate and exhibit the divine qualities in our thoughts, words and deeds we are walking towards union; when we cultivate the selfish qualities we are walking away from union. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is truly the Golden Rule, for in applying it we come to know the real gold that has never been apart from us.

You can find God if you will only seek—by obeying divine laws, by loving people, by relinquishing self-will, attachments, negative thoughts and feelings. And when you find God it will be in the stillness. You will find God within.”
~Peace Pilgrim

If you want to be happy work to make others happy. Be a peacemaker. Bring a smile, bring a beneficial thought, word and deed. Bring kindness. If the mind does not want to do so then redouble your effort and do it anyway. If you need to force a smile in order to smile then by all means force it. In time the smile will come naturally with no obvious effort.

This I can share from my own experience. My mind was in the gutter and this is no longer the case. My actions were self-serving and now I walk for peace for all. I was always stressed and worried, now I have neither a care nor a worry. I had constant dis-ease, now I am at complete peace. I didn’t know happiness then, now I live it. I do not say this as puffery; I share the example to state the power of aligned, focused and continuous self-effort. In both cases I was still “me”, but the character was changed from the inside out and destiny changed with it. Even the concept of “me” changed.

For inspiration of the change that we can effect through self-effort, let us listen to these words of Lord Krishna as He describes a Brahmana, one who knows the highest Truth. The exquisite “Amrita”, or the “Nectar” of the Bhagavad Gita starts in the 12th discourse, sloka 13 and continues through the 19th sloka.

Here it begins:
adveṣṭā sarva-bhūtānāḿ maitraḥ karuṇa eva ca nirmamo nirahańkāraḥ sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ kṣamī
santuṣṭaḥ satataḿ yogī yatātmā dṛḍha-niścayaḥ mayy arpita-mano-buddhir yo mad-bhaktaḥ sa me priyaḥ

One who is not envious but is a kind friend to all living entities, who does not think himself a proprietor and is free from false ego, who is equal in both happiness and distress, who is tolerant, always satisfied, self-controlled, and engaged in devotional service with determination, his mind and intelligence fixed on Me — such a devotee of Mine is very dear to Me.

This is our work in this world. We are here to find how to Love. Yes, it is a fight to learn this, but this fight is inside, not out. We are equipped for the fight; we have what it takes. We are here to know and live the Truth; we are here to unwrap our glorious birthright as Spirit and to let our brilliant light shine throughout the universe.

That which is called the process of “awakening”, “union” or “Self-Realization” is (apparently) of three parts. 

First the aspirant seems to be an apparent whole, separate from others but in union inside. From our perspective we are aligned with our thoughts and ego and we mistakenly take our thoughts to be “me”. From here we also think our senses and body to be “me”. Our position seems secure, our identification with this body and mind is strong and we attach also to objects, suffering horribly. It may seem to us that some external power or perhaps fate alone got us into whatever situation in which we find ourselves and that the cause for our dilemma is outside. It further seems that self-effort will go for naught; perhaps we will feel powerless against the great forces of the world. This is a kind of blindness; we took our birth in this world afflicted by this blindness.

Next, something happens and we inexplicably perceive “two” inside. We then “see” our thoughts. This is a sudden shift that is not necessarily accompanied by anything else. This shift is amazing grace. How it comes is mysterious, though clearly it comes from both self-effort and grace. Once we see our thoughts the process of untangling our identification with them can begin in earnest. When we see our thoughts we are no longer completely beholden to them and we can change them. Yes, initially the thoughts still have much apparent power, but when they are seen we intuitively know that we can change them. This, the knowing that we can change thoughts, is of course correct, and this very fact has changed the game for us completely. 

Of course it is possible for us to see our thoughts and to choose to let them remain in charge of us. We can sit back, still identified with an individual “me”, and not take advantage of this opportunity for union. We may even choose to continue behaving terribly while justifying our actions with words such as “oh, that was just my character, that’s not really me. I’m the observer, I’m free”. At every step on our paths it is possible to step backwards, even here. These choices can be made, but none of them are beneficial.

From the point in which we become an apparent “two” an unfolding process will begin if we choose it. Self-effort is paramount now; it is all that counts until the end. The unfolding is the process to “manage” or “control” the mind. For those who take objection to the term “control”; well I can say that control is a proper concept and it is required. It is popularly taught today to watch the mind, over and over this is told to us in the various spiritual paths. Why? Because we can do nothing of note, nothing that will directly lead us to freedom, until we see our thoughts. We must constantly hear this guidance and constantly strive to “watch the mind” until we do.

Once we see our thoughts we can do anything; it is as if our higher power has been enabled. Watching the mind is not the end, but it is the beginning of the end for the motivated and dispassionate student.

Self-effort applies before and after this shift of perception, of course. Before the shift self-effort is all about acquiring what needs to be acquired so that grace is revealed to cause the shift. After it is all about control and perfecting one’s surrender to the Absolute.

The next step is exerting supremacy over one’s mind. This must happen. Negative and selfish thoughts are to be banished, there is no place for them in one who wishes to know God. Thoughts must finally be brought to God alone (the same God that is in all with no reduction or separation!) Perfection of surrender has then begun. We can talk of surrender all that we want, yet it is only possible when one’s thoughts are seen and the mind is controlled; when you are finally the master of your mind instead of it being your master.

This, then, results finally in the end of the process. Perfect Surrender is the end of the “I” concept. It is the death of the “individual personage” yet at the same time it is birth in spirit; the real Life.

No person becomes enlightened in fact; there is finally no Self-Realization. There is, instead, surrender. In surrender the small and limited is first controlled and then given away; through a final grace the unlimited replaces it. The drop of water is never anything but water; for it reunion is the end of its identification as a drop. The person does not become anything; attachment to the personage ends and only Life remains. There is no longer a thought of “one” or “two”, there is instead silence and the understanding that pervades and co-exists with the silence. And, from this point, Life goes on. From the outside most do not know that something has changed but from the inside peace alone reigns supreme.

When we see the truth of us we know that there is no question of separation. We are no more separate from each other than rays of light are separate from the sun. Just as all of the waves of light, visible and invisible, emanate from the one sun so to do we emanate from the one Truth. Just as the rays have never existed without their source and can have no existence separate from it so also we, this entire universe, exist not without its one source. The rays are simply a beautiful expression of the sun and are never anything but the sun. In this same way are we. Never separate, never alone, never anything but Truth. Eternal Spirit, not flesh, not bound by limitations other than in our own mind.

We started our discussion here talking about the four steps of our Pilgrimage Home. Let us close in the same way by talking of acceptance.

What is the difference between belief and acceptance?

A belief is to be fought for and defended. Acceptance simply accepts.

Belief speaks loudly for all of the world to hear. Acceptance listens to comprehend.

Belief is the fullness of ideas, acceptance is silence of mind.

Belief is bold yet must finally surrender. Acceptance meek yet abides any storm.

Belief finds conflict as its home. Acceptance finds peace as its own.

One thinks acceptance to be easy and weak. And yet when we try it we know that it is the hardest thing we could ever do. This, then, clearly is the struggle to be exerted; for we know by now that no other struggle we have fought has come to beneficial fruit. We further know that it is this; acceptance and love of all as our own self, which all of the great teachers have guided us towards.

Perfect acceptance does not mean being passive; it is a great mistake to think this. It means to love and serve all, to always be kind and considerate to all, regardless of one’s beliefs, and to always do the good deed in front of us. It means to always think the kind and loving thought and always speak the considered and sweet truth. To practice acceptance no one else need do anything or behave in any particular way. In fact the more varied the experiences that we have, the more our acceptance is tested, the more we are given the opportunity to perfect it. Perfect acceptance is perfect service and perfect love. It is not separate from you; you are not incapable of it. It is in your very heart now; it is the heart's beat behind the beat. It is the goal that each of us may step towards, we have every tool we need with which to practice it.

"Father, I am within you, and you are within me. What a great mystery."
~Padre Pio

“The abolition of the conceit ‘I am’—that is truly the supreme bliss.”
~Gautama the Buddha

“Die before you die.”
~The Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.)

"Dost thou reckon thyself only a puny form when within thee the whole universe is folded?"
~Baha'u'llah